Показаны сообщения с ярлыком eng. Показать все сообщения
Показаны сообщения с ярлыком eng. Показать все сообщения
пятница, 14 февраля 2025 г.
воскресенье, 7 апреля 2024 г.
вторник, 30 января 2024 г.
воскресенье, 17 декабря 2023 г.
понедельник, 11 декабря 2023 г.
пятница, 14 января 2022 г.
вторник, 20 июля 2021 г.
четверг, 19 декабря 2019 г.
понедельник, 18 декабря 2017 г.
воскресенье, 26 февраля 2017 г.
вторник, 19 июля 2016 г.
воскресенье, 14 декабря 2014 г.
вторник, 9 декабря 2014 г.
воскресенье, 10 февраля 2013 г.
Beer math:
Man1: Do you drink?
Man2: Yes.
Man1: How much a day?
Man2: Three 6 packs.
Man1: How much per 6 pack?
Man2: About $10.00.
Man1: And how long have you been drinking?
Man2: 15 years.
Man1: So one 6 pack costs $10.00, and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800...correct?
Man2: Correct.
Man1: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Man2: Correct.
Man1: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man2: Do you drink?
Man1: No.
Man2: So where's your frigging Ferrari?
Man1: Do you drink?
Man2: Yes.
Man1: How much a day?
Man2: Three 6 packs.
Man1: How much per 6 pack?
Man2: About $10.00.
Man1: And how long have you been drinking?
Man2: 15 years.
Man1: So one 6 pack costs $10.00, and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800...correct?
Man2: Correct.
Man1: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Man2: Correct.
Man1: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man2: Do you drink?
Man1: No.
Man2: So where's your frigging Ferrari?
+
среда, 23 января 2013 г.
суббота, 5 июня 2010 г.
Why Men Should Not write Advice Columns
Dear John,
I hope you can help. I set off for work, leaving my husband at home watching
the TV. My car stalled, then broke down about a mile down the road,and I had
to walk back to get my husbands help.
When I got home I couldn`t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbours daughter!
I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been
married 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they
have been having an affair for 6 months. He won`t go to counseling, and I`m
afraid I`m a wreck and need advice urgently...Can you help please?
Sincerely Shirley
Dear Shirley,
A car stalling after being driven a short journey can be caused by variety
of faults with the engine.
Start by checking there is no obstruction in the fuel line. If its clear,
check the vacuum pumps and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all
grounding wires. If none of these solve your problems, it could be that fuel
pump itself is faulty, causing a low delivery pressure to the injectors..I
hope this helps
John
I hope you can help. I set off for work, leaving my husband at home watching
the TV. My car stalled, then broke down about a mile down the road,and I had
to walk back to get my husbands help.
When I got home I couldn`t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbours daughter!
I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been
married 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they
have been having an affair for 6 months. He won`t go to counseling, and I`m
afraid I`m a wreck and need advice urgently...Can you help please?
Sincerely Shirley
Dear Shirley,
A car stalling after being driven a short journey can be caused by variety
of faults with the engine.
Start by checking there is no obstruction in the fuel line. If its clear,
check the vacuum pumps and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all
grounding wires. If none of these solve your problems, it could be that fuel
pump itself is faulty, causing a low delivery pressure to the injectors..I
hope this helps
John
суббота, 8 мая 2010 г.
Русско-английский бизнес-словарь
Господи, это опять вы....
Thank you very much for your email.
**** ***** *****
Нам эта ваша сделка сто лет не нужна, но ресторанчик вы выбрали неплохой...
This meeting could be an opportunity for our two institutions to investigate if there is any interest on this business activity.
**** ***** *****
Если до завтра не предоставите документы, пеняйте на себя. Тут вам не детский сад.
We will do our best to proceed with your request, however for the best result the documents should reach us not later than tomorrow.
**** ***** *****
Вы читать умеете?
You can find this information in our Terms and Conditions.
**** ***** *****
Сколько можно напоминать!
This is our kind reminder
**** ***** *****
Неужели так сложно подписать документ там, где нужно?
Please sign in the place marked with yellow sticker
**** ***** *****
Что у тебя в школе было по математике?!
Let´s reconfirm the figures.
**** ***** *****
Мы лучше сделаем это сами.
Thank you for your kind assistance.
**** ***** *****
Я уже сто раз вам это присылал.
Kindly find attached.
**** ***** *****
Ага, сейчас все брошу и побегу разбираться.
I´ll look into it and revert soonest.
**** ***** *****
Да поймите же вы наконец...
Please kindly review the matter again.
**** ***** *****
Надеюсь, что теперь вы перестанете надоедать своими вопросами
I hope this helps, otherwise please do not hesitate to contact us.
**** ***** *****
Какой же вы зануда...
Thank you for your patience
**** ***** *****
Даже и не надейтесь, что мы откроем вам счет.
We will let you know in due course.
***** ***** *****
У нас не те масштабы, чтобы возиться с вашей мелочью.
We would be happy to offer you the most favourable conditions on the case-to-case basis.
**** ***** *****
Вот когда подрастете, тогда и приходите.
So if you have eventually some needs from your clientele, it can have a real added-value.
**** ***** *****
Ой-ой, напугал!
We regret to know that you are not satisfied with our services.
**** ***** *****
Ну и пожалуйста. Не очень-то и хотелось.
We look forward to hearing from you.
**** ***** *****
Хотя бы в пятницу отстаньте уже.
Good to hear from you and have a nice weekend.
**** ***** *****
Услуги будут оплачены. Может быть.
Thanks a lot in advance.
**** ***** *****
Да идите вы знаете куда...
We consider the matter settled and close our files.
**** ***** *****
Ха-ха (три раза)
Very best regards
*** ***** *****
Да пошли вы все на **
Your opinion is very important to us
суббота, 7 ноября 2009 г.
Thank God I'm an atheist
The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on the list))
Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship))
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies;
probably because they are generally the same people
пятница, 6 ноября 2009 г.
Подписаться на:
Сообщения (Atom)