вторник, 8 июля 2014 г.

немношко английского в ленту

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Trafalgar Square. A young punk and an old woman sit on a bench. Near the benches walk a lot of pigeons. Pigeons make a lot of noise.
Punk stands up and begins to shout: "Fuck off you pigeons! Fuck off! FUCK OFF!!".
An old woman says: "Young man. You should be more pollite and not to say such a bad words. You could just say "Shoo pigeons, shoo pigeons"
Punk: " And what? "
old woman: "and they will fuck off."

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Mom's Affair

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. One day, her 9-year-old
son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she
hides the lover in the closet.
The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
The man whispers, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet
together.
Boy - "It's dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - Remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."


A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and
toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That's way more than
those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he
closes the door.
The boy says, "It's dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"


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